March 28, 2004
The Family
Throughout the ordeal, visiting James at his home, I was always amazed by his spirit and his family's. James was determined, low affect, depressed perhaps but not visibly unhappy or resentful of all he was going through. He was sick, yes, but not beaten. He was stoic but still funny, sarcastic, incapable of sentimentalism when he had never tolerated phonies and saccharine in his life before the illness.
His family was steadfastly optimistic throughout, but realist about the hardships they had been experiencing, and totally willing to see comic irony everywhere. Just as I sometimes felt self-conscious being near James, feeling inarticulate while he carried himself with so much dignity, I often felt energized by his family when I thought I was supposed to be offering my support to them.
